Rhetorical devices

We learnt a number of rhetorical devices at the end of last term, but after some extensive googling I have found some alternative definitions.

Epistrophe – A particular type of catastrophe that involves pissing yourself.
e.g. 'One man with wet pants, knows the woes of a thousand with wet pants.'

Anadiplosis – A herbivore dinosaur with explosive wind, also known as A Joelodockus Weirex
e.g. You eat the beans, beans that cause stomach pain, pain turns to gas, gas explodes and fouls the air.

Antimetabole – Someone who is very much against ten pin bowling.
e.g. You say you do not know how to bowl, but you bowl like you have not had your say.

Parallelism – A branch of mystical Christianity based on the parallel rhetorical lines that circle the globe.
e.g. Rhetoric encircles the heavenly earth as it encircles our heavenly souls

Antithesis – The sinking feeling that occurs a week before your MA thesis deadline.
e.g. To hit the word count, is to count yourself a hit.

Anastrophe – A punctuation mark used to indicate words removed during collaborative writing which neither party is happy about.
e.g. Happy about this radio script I am not

Anaphora – A rhetorical water jug used in ancient Roman times esp. during orgies.
We'll pour water on the sleeping slave, we'll pour water on the vomiting maid and we'll pour water on the naked pair.

Polyptoton - A nursery rhyme involving someone who 'puts the kettle on.'
e.g. Tis better to drink wine than to wine about the drink.